So goes the punchline of one of the all-time great jokes, describing the conclusion of an argument between two mental patients. Now that the lines of disagreement are wide open across all platforms and the ad hominem is well underway, it’s open season for accusations of cognitive impairment and it's important for you to get yours straight. Alongside all of the well-considered, good-faith debating that happens on Facebook, Twitter and elsewhere, there are sometimes invectives, many of which allege some degree of mental incapacitation. The most egregious of these is the R-word, for which there is no reason or excuse. It ought to be extinct as a pejorative.
The three words in the punchline, however, do not carry the clinical sting that the R-word does, largely due to their 50-years hence discontinuance as legitimate psychiatric terminology. They do have a grim past as a single-word redux of human persons, at least according to Edmund Burke Huey in his dandy little tome, “Backward and Feeble-Minded Children,” published in 1912.
Huey’s hierarchy is thus: idiots attain intelligence common to a two-year old, imbeciles reach about seven, and morons put the brakes on development at about 12 years of age. In light of this history, they should probably be used with some circumspection, but again, because they had fallen into some disfavor by the late 60s and into utter disuse in the 70s, their capacity for harm is greatly lessened. Of the three, “imbecile” is the least common in Twitter fights. Moe uses it frequently to describe Larry and Curly.
“Idiot” and “moron” enjoy a brisk new life on the internet, with “idiot” returning 207 million instances of use on Google and “moron” clocking in at a respectable 48 million. One presumes there are more idiots than morons. “Idiot” is derived from the Greek and was coined into English some time in the 14th century. Of the two words, it is the elder by six-hundred years. “Moron” was coined for clinical purposes, and shares an etymology with “sophomore,” for all you morons in your second year of college.
As a disciple of the Moe Howard school of usage, I am trying to reinvigorate use of “imbecile.” Its Google usage cowers conspicuously below the ten million mark, and deserves your support. The other two have had their day, and it’s time. Or you could go with any number of other negative characterizations like birdbrain, dimwit, dunce, frogspawn, nincompoop, squirrel bait or sponge head.
